Seven Steps to 'Sex-cess'

Live in a sex-charged culture, without getting zapped!

Jim is in my office one Saturday morning crying over the lust, guilt and terrible sexual choices that are destroying his life. I don't know whether to empathize with his pain or kick his butt for going to sleep on his watch!

I remind him that the battle for sexual integrity demands constant vigilance. It's a wrestling match with Satan, and any time you let your guard down, you get body-slammed.

Our society so bombards us with sex. With our male fascination for visual stimulation and our often-adolescent mindsets, this is very disconcerting.

It is easy to empathize with the early church father, Origen, who made himself a eunuch in a desperate step to achieve greater purity. But, God has also given us a wonderful gift in being sexually alive with exciting potential for deep, passionate intimacy.

The following are practical skills, actually disciplines, men need to practice as they grow up into sexual maturity and intimacy. "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (2 Tim. 1:7, NIV).

1. Bring Sexual Secrets Into the LightSeveral years ago, I can remember having trouble keeping my thought life disciplined around a certain woman who would occasionally cross my path. There was no inappropriate interaction, but I did not like the way she could ring my sexual chimes without even trying.

I finally told a friend of mine about her—the way I had coached others to confess their secret struggles. How interesting that the next time I saw this woman the sexual pull was gone.

Wow! Isn't it amazing how Satan's system thrives in darkness and secrecy? It is exciting to practice the discipline of bringing a secret into the light of day and to actually experience its power disappearing.

"Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible" (Eph. 5:11-13).

What a dynamic concept God created with His emphasis on confession and walking in the light. An important part of this discipline is seeking out appropriate confessors, groups and accountability buddies.

Wives cannot be in that role alone. We need male buddies to help us bring our secrets into the light.

2. Practice Pre-Zone ChoicesIn sexual addiction there is an interesting concept of being in "the zone." This is when sexual temptation and lustful desire have headed down the slippery slope and already given birth to sinfully following through on a behavior.

It would take a team of wild horses to stop you once you reach the acting-out zone. "But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin" (James 1:14-15).

Carl stated the car had a mind of its own and turned into the parking lot of the convenience store that sells dirty magazines. Of course the car couldn't be stopped, Carl was already in the zone by the time he got near the store. The time for decisions was earlier.

That morning he could have called a friend for help. He could have called his wife before he left work. But he failed to make any of these pre-zone choices to preserve his sexual integrity.

Christian men often get angry with God and complain that He allowed sexual temptation that they couldn't stand up under (see 1 Cor. 10:13). No, we simply did not make a series of healthy choices until it was too late.

God didn't fail us. We failed to take the first choices He gave to keep us from sinning. The quicker you begin making decisions about sexual temptation, the more God can intervene.

3. Discipline Fantasies and Sexual Surges
Men usually think they are more highly sexed than their wives are. It is true that most men think about sex more and are more visually specific as they zoom in on female bodies. But I don't think it is higher testosterone or our sexual natures that make us more sexually aroused; it is our poor self-discipline of the environmental sexual cues.

Controlling sexual cues is an interesting discipline. It involves several ways of applying the wisdom of "take captive every thought" (2 Cor. 10:5) and "the eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light'" (Matt. 6:22).

Practicing the following really helps:

Don't close your eyes or give free rent. When seeing or hearing a sexual cue (for example, a guy in the locker room talking about a sexually charged movie he saw) keep from closing your eyes and visualizing or fantasizing about the sexual image.

You can't always avoid the sexual stimulation, but when a thought or visual cue comes into your mind, you can choose not to give it lodging rent-free. God gives us the ability to switch topics in our minds.

Direct your vision and practice the "one-second" rule. Try to discipline your vision to look at women's faces or see their bodies in a general way—don't do the elevator routine as your eyes roam up and down, stopping at favorite floors.

When seeing specific visual cues (for example, a tight sweater), do not allow your gaze to linger and further sexualize the cue. Move your eyes and mind on.

Do not run with cues. Noticing the cute runner may be natural. Following up that cue by almost driving off the road trying to check her out in the rearview mirror is a step into dangerous territory.

Now you're thinking, Wow, what a build! You are off and running in your mind as you take one cue and build it into seven. Choose to stop with one cue.

4. Work Inside OutDo you sometimes believe God doesn't hold up His part of the bargain with changing our sexual behaviors? You try so desperately to uphold the right sexual behavior and yet always seem to slip.

Quit trying to work outside in. Instead, start with God working His deeper changes in your heart and creating true freedom and redemption.

Real sexual integrity is not about what you aren't doing; it is about what you are doing. You may have stopped masturbation but haven't dealt with the deeper heart lust issues. Go deeper than the behavior.

How is masturbation affecting you and your relationships? Are you lusting, lazy, avoiding intimacy, feeding an addiction? Go deep into God's character and the heart of issues, and work inside out.

We will make better choices as God helps us b ecome appalled at how shallow, ugly, stupid and tragically destructive sexual sins are. Psalm 97:10 says, "Let those who love the Lord hate evil."

When we lust after another woman or are tempted to have an affair, we can better understand the damage we're causing by imagining instead an evil we could never see ourselves doing--such as taking a tire iron from our cars and bashing our wives with it.

This may seem over-the-top. But we each need to recognize just how cruel and mean God sees our sinful fantasies and actions.

5. Meet Nonsexual Needs Nonsexually
I recently asked my men's group: "It's Friday afternoon, and you got off work early. The wife and kids are not home, and you have time to relax and enjoy. How many of you might think of something sexual as a part of that recreation?"

All of them admitted that it would cross their minds.

We brainstormed on what were they really desiring at the end of an exhausting week: diversion, a chance to let down and play, and maybe some adventure and excitement. Sex can accomplish this, but we started listing alternatives: wandering around Home Depot, playing video games, biking or shooting hoops.

Men long for connection, meaningful physical touch and consolation when stressed. False sexual intimacy can seem helpful, but this shallow substitute can never become the real thing. One of my friends, Mark Laaser, keeps saying that the antidote to lust is good male friendships.

Letting God help us meet our needs, sexual and nonsexual, wisely and appropriately, is a critical discipline for sexual integrity.

We often think that we need sex when we are really searching for something else.

6. Quit Window-Shopping
We can summarize God's plan for our sexuality quite simply: Every Adam courageously waits for and erotically connects only with his Eve—all other women are his sisters.1 Timothy 5:2 tells us to treat "older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."

A female client of mine recently asked why Christian men do so much window-shopping of women. She stated: "If they are godly men, why are they sizing up women for mental or sexual relationships? Aren't we sisters?" I couldn't agree more.

I fondly think of a pastor friend of mine, who upon seeing an attractive woman says to himself, "Thank you, Lord, for this woman." And then he adds: "But this isn't my woman, Lord. Thank you for mine."

7. Practice 3-D Sexuality
God teaches us that sexuality is three-dimensional. It can never be just a body thing (see 1 Cor. 6:13-19) but naturally involves our soul and spirit.

When you are at a mall and notice an attractive woman, look at her face and notice if she is tired.

Observe the packages she is carrying and think, I bet she's a great mom. Make the woman a person and give her a life.

Body: Look at less common but very feminine features such as hands, smile and ways of gesturing. Let her body communicate her heart, not just her sexuality.

Soul: Honor the needs of her mind and heart for respect and affirmation, not lust. She is very precious to God. Would you want someone looking at your daughter the way you are looking at her?

Spirit: Remember that she wants someone special in her life to connect with—and this is not you!

One of my clients, after seeing a great body and struggling with lust, starts praying for that woman that she will truly know Christ. Giving her a spirit gets him back on track.

Godly disciplines are not easy or natural. Keep practicing because it's a no-brainer choice. Do we want pain, guilt and failed intimacy, or do we want the fruit of the Spirit with love, joy and peace?

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (Heb. 12:11). It's time to vigilantly protect your sexual integrity.

Dr. Doug Rosenau is a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in the Atlanta area (sexualwholeness.com).

The Disappearance of Sin–A Flight from Reality

By Albert Mohler

Dr. R. Albert Mohler, Jr., serves as president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary — the flagship school of the Southern Baptist Convention and one of the largest seminaries in the world. Dr. Mohler has been recognized by such influential publications as Time and Christianity Today as a leader among American evangelicals. In fact, Time.com called him the “reigning intellectual of the evangelical movement in the U.S.”

The disappearance of sin from our moral vocabulary is one of the hallmarks of the modern age–and of postmodern morality. These days, most people think themselves to be imperfect, leaving room for improvement–but they do not think of themselves as sinners in need of forgiveness and redemption. This point has been raised by many, but an early prophet of sin’s disappearance was not a theologian, but a psychiatrist.

Karl Menninger was a famous American psychiatrist, and he was among the first mental heath professionals to suggest that some psychological disorders were actually treatable. The established thought at the time was that virtually all mental disorders were incurable, but Menninger was unwilling to accept that assumption. His innovative treatment of psychological diseases largely shaped the modern practice of psychiatry.

Nevertheless, Menninger was not without controversy. Perhaps his most controversial contribution came in the form of his 1973 book, Whatever Became of Sin? The psychological community had almost universally banned the word “sin” from its vocabulary. In fact, therapists blamed the notion of sin for producing guilt, which seemed to be psychologically unhealthy. How’s that for a reversal of reality?

Menninger wrote with moral indignation. He understood the reason the notion of sin had been rejected by psychiatry, but he found that he could not explain all human behavior as either “neurotic” or “healthy.” There was another category of behavior as Menninger observed–and that category was sin. Menninger’s book was a powerful and influential call for recognizing sin as sin. He demonstrated that the psychological community was not alone; society at large had rejected the notion of sin.

Words such as “disease,” “anti-social behavior,” and “lack of moral development” had replaced “sin” as explanations for human behavior. Menninger attacked this evasion.

He wrote: “I believe there is ’sin’ which is expressed in ways that cannot be subsumed . . . as ‘crime,’ ‘disease,’ ‘delinquency,’ ‘deviancy.’ There is immorality; there is unethical behavior; there is wrong doing. And I hope to show that there is usefulness in retaining the concept, and indeed the SIN, which now shows some signs of returning to public acceptance.”

Menninger’s call was heard by some of his fellow psychologists, but rejected by many. His recovery of “sin” was seen by many of his colleagues as a giant step backward for a progressive science. Furthermore, his hope that sin might return as a public concern was not realized.

Genuine Christianity cannot escape dealing with sin. The Gospel will not allow any evasion of sin as the universal human condition of revolt against the Creator, the God of absolute holiness and absolute love. Nevertheless, Menninger’s question still remains an indictment of the church as well as society: Whatever became of sin?

The famous psychiatrist noted the absence of “sin” in his profession, but we should notice the decline of “sin” within the church. Some leading churches and television preachers have followed the lead of the psychological community in rejecting the notion of sin. The word is seldom uttered in many churches–even some who would describe themselves as evangelical.

This is an abdication of the Gospel. Where sin is not faced as sin, grace cannot be grace. What need have men and women of atonement, when they are told that their deepest problem is something less than the Bible explicitly teaches? Weak teaching on sin leads to cheap grace, and neither leads to the Gospel.

Scripture identifies sin as humanity’s willful revolt against God. It is rebellion and disobedience. Furthermore, it is “missing the mark” of faithfulness to God’s holy standard. It is the most fundamental human problem, and it is the reason we need a Savior. It is a revolt against God’s authority and an insult to God’s glory. It is the human in moral revolt, usually disguised as personal autonomy.

Christians have had a hard time striking a biblical balance. Some minimalize sin so that it seems not to apply to their behavior. Others may fixate on certain “pet” sins as their only concern, and neglect the more pressing commands. Some churches deal with sin, but never get to the gospel. Liberal denominations have abandoned the biblical doctrine of sin, and now locate sin only in the structures of society. None of these perversions is worthy of the gospel.

Whatever became of sin? It has been redefined, ignored, rejected, neglected, and denied. Yet human beings know of its reality. Those who deny its reality were once described by another psychiatrist as “People of the Lie.”

The church must be the people of the truth. Though society and popular culture may reject sin as unsophisticated and outdated, the church must speak the word of truth. Therapy has its rightful place, and Christians should not disparage the legitimate use of psychological insights. Christian psychologists and psychiatrists should serve, in the truest sense, as healing ministers. Nevertheless, the Christian knows that the most fundamental problem faced by humanity cannot be overcome by therapy but only by atonement. And that is the gospel truth.

Source here.

Pat Robertson Says Alzheimer's Makes Divorce OK

By KATIE MOISSE and JESSICA HOPPER
Sept. 15, 2011

Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson stunned "700 Club" viewers Tuesday when he said divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's disease was justified.



Robertson, chairman of the Christian Broadcasting Network and former Republican presidential candidate, said he wouldn't "put a guilt trip" on someone for divorcing a spouse with Alzheimer's disease, calling Alzheimer's itself "a kind of death."

The remarks sparked outrage throughout religious and medical communities.

"I'm just flabbergasted," said Joel Hunter, senior pastor of the 15,000 member Northland Church in Orlando, Fla. "I just don't know how anyone who is reading Scripture or is even familiar with the traditional wedding vows can come out with a statement like that. Obviously, we can all rationalize the legitimacy for our own comfort that would somehow make it OK to divorce our spouse if circumstances become very different or inconvenient. ... That's almost universal, but there's just no way you can get out of what Jesus says about marriage."

Hunter, who is also a presidential appointee to an advisory council on faith-based and neighborhood partnerships, said Robertson's words could lead people to interpret typical marital woes as proof that the spouse they married is symbolically dead, and they are therefore free to move on.

"Obviously, you could do this for anything. ... My husband watches and plays video games, and so he has left the marriage and it's kind of like a death," he said. "It's not death, and so we can't start describing things as death that are really not death, and we have to stop trying to mischaracterize what Scripture says for our own convenience."

Leith Anderson, president of the National Association of Evangelicals, said marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that calls for faithfulness in the best of times and the worst of times. Quoting Corinthians, Anderson said, "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. You can't quit your own body with Alzheimer's, so you shouldn't quit your husband's or wife's body either."

Doctors and social workers who work with families affected by Alzheimer's disease were similarly dismissive of Robertson's advice.

"To condone abandoning one's spouse in the throes of this mind-robbing illness is absurd," said Dr. Amanda Smith, medical director at the University of South Florida Health Alzheimer's Center in Tampa. "While Alzheimer's certainly affects the dynamic of relationships, marriage vows are taken in sickness and in health."

An estimated 5.4 million Americans have Alzheimer's disease – a figure expected to rise sharply as baby boomers enter their older years. And about 80 percent of Alzheimer patients who live at home are cared for by family members.

Robertson's comments came after a viewer asked what advice he should give a friend who had been seeing another woman since his wife had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

"I know it sounds cruel, but if he's going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but make sure she has custodial care and somebody looking after her," Robertson said.

But the Rev. A.D. Baxter, a social worker with Cole Neuroscience Center at the University of Tennessee Medical Center, said care from a loved one is irreplaceable.

"When being cared for by a spouse, the love of that spouse is often what enables a person with Alzheimer's disease to continue on and not feel abandoned," said Baxter, adding that caregivers need support, too. "Many believe a true friend does not abandon in the time of need."

Alzheimer's Strains Relationships

The progressive symptoms of Alzheimer's can put stress on relationships, leaving caregivers to cope with the loss of intimacy and other aspects of adult romantic relationships, said Dr. Jason Karlawish, a professor of medicine and medical ethics and assistant director of the Penn Memory Center in Philadelphia.

"There's no question that this is an issue," said Karlawish. "But to a spouse who's struggling with this kind of issue, I would want to say after the patient has left this world, you want be able to look back and say you treated that person with dignity."

Zaven Khachaturian, president of the Maryland-based Campaign to Prevent Alzheimer's Disease by 2020, said that Robertson's logic could have parents abandoning newborn babies.

"After all, a newborn presents to the caregiver exactly the same set of caregiver burden," said Khachaturian. "Both the infant and the person with Alzheimer's must be fed, cleansed, they are highly emotional, sleep a lot, they have wrinkled skins. If neglected, they will die. Does this mean caregivers must abandon newborn infants because it is not convenient to take care of them?"

New technologies are making it possible to diagnose Alzheimer's disease earlier, while patients have the ability to understand the road ahead of them.

"I think this highlights the need for couples and families to have discussions early in any illness, and preferably before illness strikes so that person's decisions and preferences are known and respected," said David Loewenstein, a clinical neuropsychologist at University of Miami's Miller School of Medicine.

Robertson's advice was for a male caregiver. But sometimes it's the patient who wants to start a new relationship.

"I have seen both caregivers and patients enter into new relationships during the course of dementia. How they choose to handle it is up to them. All parties dealing with this disease suffer to some extent and deserve to find happiness," said USF's Smith. "Ultimately, the decision for any couple to divorce, for any reason, is a private and difficult one."

Some couples stay married but form new relationships, too.

"There are many spouses who are devoted to the affected person with Alzheimer's, and yet form new relationships as they also care for their spouse," said Sandra Weintraub, professor of neurology and a neuropsychologist at the Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer's Disease Center at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. "It's hard to negotiate living with Alzheimer's disease but dictating what's good and bad is not useful.

"Every person needs to make their own decisions and to consider all parties involved. I sincerely hope the good reverend never has to have Alzheimer's to experience his advice first hand."

Tim King, spokesman for the Christian organization Sojourners, said Robertson's controversial statement was encouraging in at least one regard.

"I'm actually encouraged to hear someone like Pat Robertson say we're not really in a position to judge another person," King said. "I can't imagine the difficulty that a spouse would have to see someone go through that type of change and transformation. ... I don't know anyone who is in the position to judge another type of person who is having to make those type of decisions. It should never be taking lightly; it should never be an easy decision. Dealing with marriage is serious and making a big decision like that should be hard."

A representative for Robertson's network told the Associated Press that there would be no further comment on the matter.

Only One Life Will Soon Be Past by Zac Poonen

Description: Brother Zac shares from the famous phrase of the missionary C.T. Studd: "Only One life will soon be past, only what is done for Christ will last." He shares the need not only to do things in the Name of Christ but to do them in the calling and power of Christ's life in us. A powerful needed message towards especially those in ministry or pastoring.

To listen please click on the link: http://www.sermonindex.net/modules/mydownloads/visit.php?lid=22804

Victimizing Christians

Martin & Deidre Bobgan - PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries

Psychological counseling theories and therapies have given Americans a new way of thinking and have turned our country into a therapeutic culture of the self—where the self and how it feels about itself are at the center of meaning. People from coast to coast have embraced a psychological mindset that puts emotional deprivation and woundedness as the root cause of nearly every personal and social problem. This mindset has the potential to make everyone into a victim needing the services of the ever-expanding mental-health system. Fifteen years ago Charles Sykes wrote a book titled A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character, in which he says:

The ethos of victimization has an endless capacity not only for exculpating one's self from blame, washing away responsibility in a torrent of explanation—racism, sexism, rotten parents, addiction, and illness—but also for projecting guilt onto others.1

Sykes also says, "The impulse to flee from personal responsibility and blame others seems far more deeply embedded within the American culture."2 In fact, he declares, "The National Anthem has become The Whine," and explains, "Increasingly, Americans act as if they had received a lifelong indemnification from misfortune and a contractual release from personal responsibility."3

Psychological Mindset

The psychological mindset evolved out of the fairly recent development of clinical psychology (including psychotherapy, counseling psychology, and marriage and family counseling), which was birthed in colleges and universities around 1950 and expanded through politics and money.4 Since that time, it has exploded to the extent that Dr. Ellen Herman describes psychology's popularity and impact on the Western world this way in her book titled The Romance of American Psychology:

Psychological insight is the creed of our time. In the name of enlightenment, experts promise help and faith, knowledge and comfort. They devise confident formulas for happy living and ambitious plans for dissolving the knots of conflict. Psychology, according to its boosters, possesses worthwhile answers to our most difficult personal questions and practical solutions for our most intractable social problems

Herman also says:

In the late twentieth-century United States, we are likely to believe what psychological experts tell us. They speak with authority to a vast audience and have become familiar figures in most communities, in the media, and in virtually every corner of popular culture. Their advice is a big business.6

The kind of psychology that carries this power to turn people into victims is psychotherapy with its underlying psychologies, such as Sigmund Freud's theory of the unconscious and Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, along with an estimated 500 different counseling systems and their theories. After all, who has a perfect life, certainly none of the theorists, all of whom developed their systems out of their own personal lives and creative imagination?7

In her book Manufacturing Victims: What the Psychology Industry Is Doing to People, Dr. Tana Dineen reveals what the so-called caring profession has become. She begins her book with the following words and the rest of her book proves her point:

Psychology presents itself as a concerned and caring profession working for the good of its clients. But behind the benevolent facade is a voracious, self-serving industry that proffers "facts" which are often unfounded, provides "therapy" which can be damaging, and exerts influence, which is having devastating effects on the social fabric.8

Dineen also says:

It is not news to say that psychology has become an influential cultural force or that society is becoming more and more filled with people who consider themselves victims who are psychologically needy in one way or another.

What is news is that psychology is manufacturing most of these victims; that it is doing this with motives based on power and profit (emphasis hers).9

While, indeed, there are real victims, the psychotherapeutic mindset has trivialized the horrors that some people have experienced by so expanding the meaning that now everyone qualifies if they want to. The role of victim can actually be quite enticing. Besides qualifying for sympathy from friends, engaging in endless psychological therapy centered on self, and gaining exoneration from responsibility and guilt, being a victim provides a new identity of being the hero or heroine in one's own drama of overcoming horrendous obstacles in the grand quest for psychological healing. Rather than having to face the ugly fact of their own sin without excuse or reason or blame-shifting, they choose to be victims. Dr. Carol Tavris and Dr. Elliot Aronson describe the usefulness of victimhood that comes from recovered memory therapy in their book titled Mistakes Were Made (but not by me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. They say:

Why would people claim to remember that they had suffered harrowing experiences if they hadn't, especially when that belief causes rifts with families or friends? By distorting their memories, these people can "get what they want by revising what they had," and what they want is to turn their present lives, no matter how bleak or mundane, into a dazzling victory over adversity. Memories of abuse also help them resolve the dissonance between "I am a smart, capable person" and "My life sure is a mess right now" with an explanation that makes them feel good and removes responsibility: "It's not my fault my life is a mess. Look at the horrible things they did to me."10

Psychological Mindset Christianized?

Yes, we are surrounded by a nation of victims with a therapeutic mindset, but wait—we are Christians! How does this affect those of us who have been given new life through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross? What does this have to do with the Gospel and with living the Christian life? Plenty!

Almost as soon as the romance of psychology took hold of Americans, it was embraced by Christians who believed psychological counseling theories and therapies would be useful for helping Christians. These psychological counseling ideas were brought into pastoral counseling classes in numerous seminaries. Next came the "Christian psychologists" who devised a plan to integrate counseling psychologies theories and therapies with Christianity, both for counseling believers and for instructing the saints about how to live the Christian life. And now, what is the advice people hear when they are struggling with emotional distress and problems of living? "You need counseling." And, what they mean is professional counseling, psychotherapy and its underlying theories of the self. Why? Because they believe a lie that, in essence, says that the cross of Christ, the Word of God, the work of the Holy Spirit, and the fellowship of believers are not enough for people with emotional or relational problems of living and that Christians need what only psychological theories and therapies can do. This is because of what Sykes calls:

The triumph of the therapeutic mentality ... which insisted upon seeing the immemorial questions of human life as problems that required solutions. The therapeutic culture provided both in abundance: The therapists transformed age-old human dilemmas into psychological problems and claimed that they (and they alone) had the treatment.11

This lie about the Word of God, the work of the Holy Spirit, and the fellowship of the saints not being sufficient for dealing with so-called psychological problems of living is promoted by numerous leaders and believed throughout the church. One of them is Dr. Bruce Narramore, Distinguished Professor at Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University, who says: "I think the critics [of psychology] need to ask, 'Why are people so interested in psychology?' The thought is that we ought to go back to the old way. But the old way wasn't working."12 Narramore says this without proof or evidence and thereby implies that for nearly 2000 years God failed to supply His children with the means of dealing with problems of living.

The integration of the theories and therapies of counseling psychology has succeeded in turning the body of Christ into a bunch of victims. If this were a book title, the subtitle could be "The Demise of Biblical Ministry." In its eager embrace of this kind of psychology, the church has left its first love and fallen for the wisdom of man and "philosophy and vain deceit" (1 Cor. 2; Col. 2:8). That this kind of psychology is now regular fare in churches across America can be seen in the observation of Dr. Frank Furedi in his book Therapy Culture, in which he says: "A study of 'seeker churches' in the US argues that their ability to attract new recruits is based on their ability to tap into the therapeutic understanding of Americans."13 He sees this as a preoccupation with the self, and, indeed, that is what it is all about—self!

All About Self

The focus of psychological therapy is on self and its problems from the perspective that the self is essentially good, but wounded emotionally by circumstances and other people. Therefore more and more Christians are seeing themselves as innocent victims with their "mistakes" and problems of living being due to other people and circumstances beyond their control. Worse yet, some, who have been convinced that the source of their problems is what happened to them as young children, spend months and years in therapy and/or in so-called inner healing. Some are trying to gain insight by remembering real events and some are searching for supposedly forgotten memories of abuse and neglect. Others are encouraged to see a figure of Jesus add something to the memory to heal or change it, but, since this is all in their imagination, they end up with a false Jesus. The idea in all of this kind of counseling and inner healing is that self has been harmed in some way and must be helped and healed.

Psychotherapy thus attempts to fix the self so that its so-called essential goodness can be experienced and expressed. The psychological mindset sees the problem as on the outside. The solution is found within the self, albeit with the help of those who have special psychological knowledge. Self is central and must be nurtured with self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth, all of which are supposed to lead to self-fulfillment, but which generally increase self-absorption, self-centeredness, and self-indulgence.

In contrast, the Word of God presents the truth about mankind, that we are sinners by nature and therefore not essentially good in ourselves. Romans 3:10 says: "There is none righteous, no not one" and verse 23 says, "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." The problem of sin comes from within and the solution comes from outside ourselves, from God Himself through the cross of Christ, who bore our sin, and purchased our new life, which is received by grace through faith and lived by grace through faith.

Victim or Sinner?

One of the main goals of much counseling psychology is to relieve guilt so that individuals can feel better about themselves and thereby supposedly handle their lives more effectively. Helping an individual see himself as needy, emotionally wounded, and having been harmed or disappointed by others is one convenient way to sidestep personal responsibility, sin, and guilt. This is the opposite of the Bible, which provides the true remedy for sin and the only remedy for the human condition through Jesus Christ and all He accomplished to rid one of sin and guilt.

The whole of Scripture points to the Lamb of God slain before the foundation of the world. Its focal point is Jesus Christ satisfying God's wrath against sin and procuring forgiveness and new life for believers. Christianity is all about living the new life and reckoning oneself dead to the old life. Christianity is not about focusing on problems and on other people's sins and shortcomings, and it is not about dredging up the past to fix the present. The Christian life is about confessing one's own sin, walking according to the new life in Christ, and "forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before" towards the goal of the "high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13,14).

The early church had the one remedy for everyone's present problems and past circumstances: the cross of Christ! The magnitude of each person's sin against God from the cradle to the grave is more than anyone could bear to imagine, but Jesus took it all upon Himself so that he could give every believer new life. He, who knew no sin, died in the place of those who were by nature sin. He did not just come to fix the flesh (the old nature). He came to put it on the cross so that believers, by identifying with Him, could reckon themselves dead to the old and alive to the new.

Everyone has been adversely affected by the sins of others to some degree, but the adverse effects or the sinful tendencies from parents or sinful ways learned from them reside in the flesh (old nature). Our flesh is therefore the problem, not something outside ourselves, either past or present. Therefore, the Bible does not teach people to nurture their so-called "inner child" or to develop self-esteem or to probe their early childhood years to look for ways that adults failed them in any way. The Bible does not advise anyone to remember and re-experience past pain, disappointments, or even abuse for the sake of personal or spiritual growth. The Bible does not suggest that people must be healed emotionally before they can believe God or before they can grow spiritually.

Considering the grievous circumstances and the childhoods of many of the Gentile Christians, the early church had plenty of potential "victims" (many born and raised in slavery with the accompanying sexual and physical abuse and being treated as less than human). But, did the church treat them as victims needing to heal their emotional wounds or to remember the pain of the past in order to know God and to grow spiritually? No! The Bible does not portray mankind as victims, but as sinners. Jesus died for sinners, not victims!

The Way of the Cross

The way of the cross is a totally different way of dealing with serious life issues and problems of living. Rather than trying to remember the past and somehow rework painful memories through therapy or so-called inner healing, Christians need to reckon themselves dead to the past by identifying with Christ's death and to live according to their new life in Christ. Everything needs to be taken to the cross instead of relived and talked about. Nevertheless, many of the people who promote this senseless return to the past agree that Christ died for our sins, but insist that many Christians still need healing from the past. However, digging up old memories for the purpose of changing one's present life is counterproductive to the cross and in effect denies the finished work of Christ.

Jesus said, "It is finished." So we say to fellow Christians: Identify with those words when you bring sin to the cross, your own sin and the sins committed against you. Recognize that Jesus suffered the pain and eternal consequence of those sins. He felt the pain and agony of every sin you have committed and the pain of every sin committed against you. He took it all and said, "It is finished." If a memory with its pain comes back, treat it as a temptation from the enemy, who wants to rob you of the truth of what Christ did and to undermine your identification with Him, both in His death and resurrection. Satan always works to keep Christians struggling in the flesh, because that is where they are the most vulnerable and because he hates the life of Christ in every believer. He is most pleased when Christians walk according to the flesh or their old nature. Therefore, the devil is pleased with all forms of psychological therapy and related forms of inner healing, including Theophostic Prayer Ministry.14

Think Biblically, Not Psychologically

Christians need to think biblically when they read books about how to live and deal with problems of living. They need to guard their thinking when watching or listening to believers or unbelievers talking about how to deal with the issues of life and about what it is to be a Christian. They need to be alert to such expressions as: felt needs, rejection, broken lives, repression, denial, defense mechanisms, inferiority complex, sublimation, projection, transference, maladjustment, low self-esteem, the unconscious, hidden reservoirs, hidden memories, emotional wounds, emotional healing, codependence, addiction, compulsion, trauma, stress, identity crisis. Every behavior imaginable has the possibility of a psychological maldescription.

Utilizing psychological therapies or inner healing blinds Christians to the glory of the cross and the great love that was poured out for them. Those who are willing to face their own depravity and the sins they continue to commit after they have received new life and who honestly look at what Jesus bore in their place have a greater realization of God's love. Jesus said, "To whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little" (Luke 7:47). Thus, by seeing the magnitude of what Christ forgave them, believers know His love, and by knowing and receiving His love, are enabled to love Him back and His love in them flows out to others. The cross is the answer to all the pain of the past, and Jesus is the answer for every present problem of living. Here is the victory won by Christ and worked into the fabric of believers' lives as they reckon themselves dead to their old life and alive unto Him. No wonder the enemy of our souls has invented such an enticing trap into victimhood!

Believers do not transform their lives through looking at the sins of others or by revisiting the past, but by confessing their own sin and believing that Jesus took it all. Believers need to leave their own sin and the sins committed against them on the cross and not try to remember, reconstruct, fix or transform the so-called inner child, which is actually the old nature or flesh. They are to live by the new life Jesus has procured for them, the new life that stretches forward into eternity. Colossians 2:6-10 says:

As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving. Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power.

The Word of God continually calls believers back to their source of new life, back to faith in Christ and all he accomplished for living the new life. Believers are not called to be victims of their present circumstances or their past or of a powerful motivating unconscious supposedly formed during early life. They are to be walking by faith, growing in faith, and "abounding therein with thanksgiving." That does not sound like the whine of the victims.

Furthermore, Paul warns believers not to be robbed of what they have in Christ through "philosophy and vain deceit" that turns them into victims. Psychological counseling theories are not science. They more aptly fall into Paul's category of "philosophy and vain deceit." Indeed, they resemble religion more than science. Dr. Thomas Szasz states the case very clearly in his book The Myth of Psychotherapy: "Herein lies one of the supreme ironies of modem psychotherapy: it is not merely a religion that pretends to be a science, it is actually a fake religion that seeks to destroy true religion.Ó15 Psychological counseling theories are collections of human opinions arranged in theoretical frameworks. They are human inventions based on the perception and personal experiences of the theorists themselves. They are "profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: which some professing have erred concerning the faith"(1 Tim. 6:20-21).

Even when Paul was beaten and left for dead, he did not see himself as a victim, but as a recipient of the very life of Christ by grace through faith. Therefore he declared: "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20). Rather than victims forever seeking to be healed of emotional wounds, Christians are new creations in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), fully equipped for challenges, trials, disappointments, dangers, and all sorts of calamities. Christ has won the victory and "ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power."

Victimization shifts the attention away from one's own responsibility for what is thought, said, and done. Victimization shifts attention away from one's own sin and onto the sins of others committed against them. Victimization diverts believers away from the cross of Christ. Victimization robs them of gratitude for God's unspeakable gift and thereby robs them of a close walk with Him. Turning Christians into victims weakens their faith and stunts spiritual growth. Every choice to walk according to the Spirit by grace through faith brings spiritual maturity. The choice is up to every believer, whether to be a psychologically defined and created victim or to be a biblically defined sinner saved by grace and growing into the likeness of Christ.

(PsychoHeresy Awareness Letter, May-June 2008, Vol. 16, No. 3)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Endnotes
1 Charles J. Sykes. A Nation of Victims: The Decay of the American Character. New York: St. MartinÕs Press, 1992, p. 11.
2 Ibid., pp. 14,15.
3 Ibid., p. 15.
4 Rogers H. Wright and Nicholas A. Cummings, eds. The Practice of Psychology: The Battle for Professionalism. Phoenix, AZ: Zeig, Tucker & Theisen, Inc., 2001.
5 Ellen Herman. The Romance of American Psychology. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1195, 1996, p. 1.
6 Ibid.
7 Harvey Mindess. Makers of Psychology: The Personal Factor. New York: Insight Books, 1988; Linda Riebel, ÒTheory as Self-Portrait and the Ideal of Objectivity,Ó Journal of Humanistic Psychology, Spring 1982.
8 Tana Dineen. Manufacturing Victims: What the Psychology Industry is Doing to People. Montreal, QB: Robert Davies Multimedia Publishing, 1996, 1998, 2000, p. 15.
9 Ibid., pp. 17,18.
10 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson. Mistakes Were Made (but not by me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. New York: Harcourt, Inc., 2007, p. 94.
11 Sykes, op. cit., p. 34.
12 Bruce Narramore, Christianity Today, May 17, 1993, p. 26.
13 Frank Furedi. Therapy Culture: Cultivating Vulnerability in an Uncertain Age. New York: Routledge, 2004, p. 18.
14 See Martin and Deidre Bobgan. Theophostic Counseling: Divine Revelation? Or PsychoHeresy? Santa Barbara, CA: EastGate Publishers, 1999.
15 Thomas Szasz. The Myth of Psychotherapy. Garden City: Anchor/Doubleday Press, 1978, p. 28.

Related articles:
Perilous Times
"...men shall be lovers of their own selves..."
Self-Esteem for Christians? Part 1 and 2

Perilous Times

Martin & Deidre Bobgan - PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries

Christians are living in perilous times. Dissatisfaction, distress, discomfort, discouragement, despair, depression, divorce, discord, disdain, disgust, dissension, and disobedience are all too common among those people who are called to bear witness to God’s glory and to reflect the image of Christ. Countless Christians have turned to professional counselors and psychologists to help them solve their problems of living, but the problems seem to be increasing.

Problem-laden Christian consumers can also choose from a vast variety of products, books, seminars, and self-help groups, but problems continue to multiply. The more the problems are addressed, the more problem-centered people become. Even those who attempt to solve their problems of living with biblical principles often end up problem-centered without getting to the root of the real problem. Solving problems often only takes care of superficial symptoms, only to be replaced by other symptoms. Some Christians exist from crisis to crisis. Others bear up under a load of care that just seems to get heavier and heavier as the years go by.

There have never been so many books available to Christians in their search for the perfect family, the perfect marriage, and the perfect life. Nevertheless, many Christians fail to reflect the image of Christ in their family, marriage, and life. Could it be that the difficulties Christians are facing are related to living in those perilous times of which Paul warned Timothy? "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves . . ." (2 Tim. 3:1,2).

People are perishing because of love—self-love. They have been taught by modern psychological experts that they should love themselves. They have been told that unless they love themselves they cannot love others. Preachers and other well-meaning people have echoed the words, "You need to love yourself." Radio psychologists and preachers pound the airwaves with such advice. Love yourself. Esteem yourself. Honor yourself. You are worth it. But more often such temptations to pity or aggrandize self are subtle and easily received because the heart is deceitful (Jer. 17:9).

But, notice what comes from people becoming "lovers of their own selves." These people who are "lovers of their own selves" are "covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" (2 Timothy 3:2-4).

A quick view of the words following "lovers of their own selves" reveals a very sinful state of existence as well as sinful attitudes and sinful actions. Such love of self is so powerful that "lovers of their own selves" are "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God." This is in sharp contrast to the Great Commandment:

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself (Matt. 22:36-39).

While promoters of self-love try to read a third commandment (love self) into this passage of Scripture, Jesus made it clear that he was speaking of only two commandments, for he said, "On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matt. 22:40). There is no command in Scripture to love self.

People suffer from unhappiness and problems of living because they have become "lovers of their own selves" and "lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God." The sinful inclination of humanity is to love self more than God and other people. Selfishness clings to human nature and breeds covetousness, lust, pride, arrogance, disrespect for God, disobedience to parents, lack of gratitude, deceit, and both desire and contention for one’s own way. And it leads to false accusations, which are rampant as people have been encouraged to blame their parents, circumstances, and everything but themselves for their predicaments.

Could it be that people are trying to grow and improve themselves and their circumstances without touching the root of the problem? Could it be that love for self is lurking beneath even the most benevolent gesture and behind the most fervent prayer? What kind of personal growth are people looking for? Personal growth that will enhance their self-esteem or personal growth that involves denying self and taking up one’s cross? Personal growth that will affirm their own worth or conform them to the image of Christ?

Both forms of growth, towards loving self or towards loving God, carry a heavy cost. Loving self more than God leads to spiritual loss, but loving God with one’s entire being leads to denying self and allowing the death blow of the cross to work against the old man (that self so many of us cling to and love) that is to be reckoned dead (Romans 6).

Jesus said:

If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away? (Luke 9:23-25).

While God is the one who saves and sanctifies, He has also ordained that good works follow His Work:

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them (Eph. 2:8-10).

These good works include loving God with one’s entire being and obeying Him, for one’s love for God is expressed in obeying Him and in loving one another. One does not gain salvation or attain his own sanctification through good works. Rather, the good works follow what God has already done and continues to do. Thus, Paul says:

Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure (Phil. 2:12,13).

In addition, all these things are to be done without murmuring or disputing (Phil. 2:14), that is, without complaining or arguing with God about one’s circumstances and how one is to conduct oneself in the sight of God.

Throughout the Christian walk there is the putting off of the old ways (the old man with its deceitful lusts) and putting on the new man, "which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness" (Eph. 4:24). This is the daily walk of the Christian. Putting off the old man is equivalent to denying self, and putting on the new man involves taking up one’s cross and following Christ.

While most Christians would agree in principle, how many of us are actually doing that daily, moment by moment? How many of us are trusting the Lord enough to take up our cross, acknowledge Him in all our ways, and look to Him to lead us away from self love to loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to loving one another as much as we already love ourselves? Every day is filled with opportunities to love God first or please self first. Which way will we go?

Related articles:
"...men shall be lovers of their own selves..."
Self-Esteem for Christians? Part 1 and 2

"...men shall be lovers of their own selves..."

Martin & Deidre Bobgan - PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries

So . . . what do you think Jesus would say to pop singer Madonna? While former reporter and atheist, now assistant pastor at Willow Creek Community Church Lee Strobel admits he’s "not pretending to have divine revelation from God on what Jesus would say," his book title, What Jesus Would Say, gives the impression he has a pretty good idea about what Jesus would say. But, we have to wonder what Jesus he’s talking about, because his Jesus sounds more like a pop-psych-pastor than God the Son. Strobel’s Jesus identifies Madonna’s problem as a self-esteem issue. Self-esteem? That’s because it’s easier to get someone to come to church if you identify one’s problem as low self-esteem instead of sin. And, contrary to what so many pastors-turned-pop-psychologist like Strobel would have you believe, the Bible says: "This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves. . ." (2 Timothy 3:1,2).

Promise Keepers also promote self-esteem and self-love. The following is from Promise Keepers Newsletter, Winter, 1993:

Many Christian single men have fought the battle to build their own self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love. They have learned that it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with others while having an unhealthy relationship with one’s self. Jesus recognized this when He challenged us to love our neighbor as we would love ourself (Mark 12:31).

In their eagerness to embrace psychological teachings of the world, Promise Keepers shift the thrust of the verse and make it sound as if we are commanded to love ourselves. But Jesus gave two commandments: to love God and to love neighbor. Loving self was not a commandment, but rather the manner in which to follow the second commandment. In other words, loving self is the natural human propensity. The very statement of Jesus is built on the fact that people already love themselves (see also Ephesians 5:28,29).

Christianity is about a loving relationship with the Lord and about loving one another. Christ did not teach his disciples to love themselves, but rather assumed that they already did when he said: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself" (Luke 10:27). Just as we naturally care for ourselves and want what is good for ourselves, we are to care for others and want what is good for them.

An individual wrote to us and asked how Proverbs 19:8; Proverbs 8:35,36; and Proverbs 15:32 might relate to the idea that "we already love ourselves" and "don’t hate ourselves."

Here is what we understand these verses to mean and how they do or do not relate to self-love and self-hatred. "He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good" (Proverbs 19:8). While everyone already loves himself, not all people are wise. While they may love to indulge themselves in foolishness, they do not care for their soul, their spiritual life; therefore the encouragement is to get wisdom and keep understanding. An analogy might be that we must eat to live, but those who eat unwisely do not properly care for their bodies. This verse does not refute "we already love ourselves." Proverbs 8:35 continues that same theme regarding wisdom: "For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the LORD." These Proverbs offer two options:(1) finding God’s wisdom and thereby living a good or godly life, or (2) refusing God’s wisdom and losing the possibility for living a good life.

The next two verses speak warnings to those who choose option 2. "But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: all they that hate me love death" (Proverbs 8:36). Those of whom the verse speaks love themselves more than they love God, but in the long run they will destroy themselves. It is not that they actively "love death" or that they hate themselves.

It is that the arrogant self-indulgence of hating God and going one’s own way is spiritual death. The same is true for Proverbs 15:32, "He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding." It is not active self-hatred here but rather a warning that one’s soul is in jeopardy if one refuses the Lord’s instruction. The contrast is that those who "heareth reproof getteth understanding."

The following is from our book Prophets of PsychoHeresy II regarding self-hatred:

Now we are not saying that there are no individuals who genuinely think that they hate themselves. However, what they generally hate is something about themselves or their circumstances. They exhibit actual love for themselves in that they continue to spend most of their time concerned about themselves, even if it is with unhappy thoughts. They generally get to the point where they are unhappy about themselves because a discrepancy exists between their aspirations or desires and their performance or condition. This intensive hate is evidence of high self-interest.

The problem is always the self-focus with people who think they hate themselves or think they need to love themselves more.

In his book Life in the Spirit, Martyn Lloyd-Jones says:

The real cause of failure,ultimately, in marriage is always self and the various manifestations of self. Of course that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world. All the major problems confronting the world, whether you look at the matter from the standpoint of nations and statesmen, or from the standpoint of industry and social conditions, or from any other standpoint—all these troubles ultimately come back to self, to ‘my rights,’ to ‘what I want,’ and to ‘who is he?’ or ‘who is she?’ Self, with its horrid manifestations, always leads to trouble, because if two ‘selfs’ come into opposition there is bound to be a clash. Self always wants everything for it-self. That is true of my self, but it is equally true of your self. You at once have two autonomous powers, each deriving from self, and a clash is inevitable. Such clashes occur at every level, from two people right up to great communities and empires and nations.

Self-esteem teachings distort the Bible, reflect the world, and appeal to the natural man. The Bible teaches believers to esteem others better than self, to love one another as we already love ourselves, and to deny self daily.

Related articles:
Self-Esteem for Christians? Part 1 and 2

Self-Esteem for Christians? Part 1 and 2

Part One and Part Two by Martin and Deidre Bobgan - PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries

Do children and adults really need self-esteem? Does low self-esteem lead to serious life problems? Should parents attempt to build self-esteem in their children? Does the Bible encourage self-esteem? Many Christians have assumptions about self-esteem. But, what does the Bible say? What does research say?

The Genesis of Self-Esteem

The self-esteem movement has its most recent roots in clinical psychology, namely in the personality theories of such men as William James, Alfred Adler, Erich Fromm, Abraham Maslow, and Carl Rogers. It became further popularized by their many followers. Nevertheless, the roots of the self-esteem movement reach further back into human history.

The self-esteem movement began in the third chapter of Genesis. Initially Adam and Eve were God-conscious and aware of one another and their surroundings rather than being self-conscious. Their awareness of themselves was incidental and peripheral to their focus on God and one another. Adam realized that Eve was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, but he was not self-aware in the same sense that his descendants would be. Self was not the issue until the Fall.

Partaking of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil did not bring godly wisdom. It brought guilt, fear, and separation from God. Thus, when Adam and Eve heard God approaching, they hid in the bushes. But God saw them and asked, "Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?" (Genesis 3:11).

Sinful Self

Adam and Eve answered with the first example of self-justification. First Adam blamed Eve and God, and then Eve blamed the serpent. The fruit of the knowledge of good and evil spawned the sinful self with all of its self-love, self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-justification, self-righteousness, self-actualization, self-denigration, self-pity and other forms of self-focus and self-centeredness.

The present Self-Etc. movement is thus rooted in Adam and Eve's sin. Through the centuries mankind has continued to feast at the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which has spread its branches of worldly wisdom. It has branched out into the vain philosophies of men and, more recently, the "scientized" philosophies and metaphysics of modern psychology.

Religious incantations for self-worth, self-love, and self-acceptance ooze out of the TV tube, drift across radio waves, and entice through advertising. From the cradle to the grave, self-promoters promise to cure all of society's ills through doses of self-esteem, self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-love. And everyone, or nearly everyone echoes the refrain: "You just need to love and accept yourself the way you are. You just need to forgive yourself" and "I just have to accept myself the way I am. I'm worth it. I am a lovable, valuable, forgivable person."

Christian Response to the World

How is the Christian to combat the thinking of the world, which glorifies the self and places self at the center as the be-all and end-all of existence? How is the Christian to be faithful to our Lord's command to be in the world, but not of the world? Can he adopt and adapt the popular philosophy/psychology of his culture, or must he stand apart as one who has been set apart by God and view his culture by the light of the Word? Jesus said:

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).

Here is a call to give up one's own way and to come under the yoke of humility and service - an emphasis on yoking - on a teaching and living relationship. Jesus described His call for followers in different words, but to the same relationship and with the same intent, when He said:

If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it (Matthew 16:24-25).

No Self-Love Commandment

Jesus does not command self-love, but rather love for God and love for one another. The Bible presents an entirely different basis for love than humanistic psychology preaches. Rather than promoting self-love as the basis for loving others, the Bible says that God's love is the true source. Human love is mixed with self-love and may be ultimately self-serving. But God's love is self-giving. Therefore, when Jesus calls His disciples to deny self and to take up His yoke and His cross, He is calling them to a self-giving love, not a self-satisfying love. Until the advent of humanistic psychology and its heavy influence in the church, Christians generally thought of self-esteem as a sinful attitude.

In Part Two of this series, we will look at what the Bible says about self-love, particularly the Second Great Commandment, and what research says about self-esteem.

Even though the Bible does not teach self-love, self-esteem, self-worth, or self-actualization as virtues, helps, or goals, a vast number of present-day Christians have been deceived by the self-teachings of humanistic psychology. Rather than resisting the enticement of the world they become culture-bound. Not only do they not resist the tidal wave of selfism; they are riding the crest of self-esteem, self- acceptance, and self-love. One can hardly tell the difference between the Christian and the non-Christian in the area of the self, except that the Christian adds God as the main source for his self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love.

Through slogans, one-liners, and twisted Scripture, many Christians jump on the existential bandwagon of humanistic psychology and set up their own cheering section. Thus, any criticism voiced against the teachings of self-worth, self-love, and self-esteem is regarded as ipso facto proof that the speaker wants people to be miserable. Moreover, any criticism against the self-esteem movement is seen as dangerous to society, since self-esteem is considered to be the panacea for its ills. Then, in the church, if one does not wholly endorse a self-esteem theology, he is accused of promoting worm theology.

If there is one thing the world and many in the church have in common these days, it's the psychology of self-esteem. Although Christians may disagree about some of the nuances of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-acceptance, and even on some of the finer points of definition and how it is attained, too many have joined forces against what they believe is a formidable enemy - low self-esteem. Yet, even the world cannot justify promoting high self-esteem through its own methods of research.

No Research Justification for Self-Esteem

A few years ago the California legislature passed a bill creating the California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility. The legislature funded the bill with $245,000 a year for three years, for a total of $735,000. The twofold title of the Task Force was quite an assumption. No one has ever demonstrated that promoting self-esteem is in any way related to personal and social responsibility. Nor has anyone proved that all those who exhibit personal and social responsibility have high self-esteem. Self-esteem and social and personal responsibility actually appear to be negatively rather than positively related.

The Mission Statement of the Task Force is as follows:

Seek to determine whether self-esteem, and personal and social responsibility are the keys to unlocking the secrets of healthy human development so that we can get to the roots of and develop effective solutions for major social problems and to develop and provide for every Californian the latest knowledge and practices regarding the significance of self-esteem, and personal and social responsibility.1

The Task Force believed that esteeming oneself and growing in self-esteem would reduce "dramatically the epidemic levels of social problems we currently face."2

Is There a Positive Relationship Between High or Low Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility?

In order to investigate this relationship the state Task Force hired eight professors from the University of California to look at the research on self-esteem as it relates to the six following areas:

1. Crime, violence and recidivism.

2. Alcohol and drug abuse.

3. Welfare dependency.

4. Teenage pregnancy.

5. Child and spousal abuse.

6. Children failing to learn in school.

Seven of the professors researched the above areas and the eighth professor summarized the results. The results were then published in a book titled The Social Importance of Self-Esteem.3 Has the relationship been established between self-esteem and social problems? David L. Kirk, syndicated writer for the San Francisco Examiner,4 said it bluntly:

That . . . scholarly tome, The Social Importance of Self-Esteem, summarizes all the research on the subject in the stultifyingly boring prose of wannabe scientists. Save yourself the 40 bucks the book costs and head straight for the conclusion: There is precious little evidence that self-esteem is the cause of our social ills.

Even though they searched for a connection between low self-esteem and problematic behavior, they could not find a cause and effect link. However, more recent studies indicate a definite relationship between violent behavior and high self-esteem. Nevertheless, faith in self-esteem dies hard and schools continue to work on building high self-esteem.

Worse than the continuance of self-esteem teachings in the world is the faith that Christians continue to place in self-esteem and self-worth teachings. Thus, the secular self-esteem movement is not a frontal attack against the Bible with the battle-lines clearly displayed. Instead it is skillfully subversive and is truly the work, not of flesh and blood, but of principalities, powers, the rulers of darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places, just as delineated by Paul near the end of Ephesians. The sad thing is that many Christians are not alert to the dangers. More than we can number are being subtly deceived into another gospel: the gospel of self.

Biblical Love

Jesus calls His own into a love relationship with Himself and with one another. Their joy is to be found in Him, not in self. Their love comes from His love for them. Thus, their love for one another does not come from self-love or self-esteem, nor does it enhance self-esteem. The emphasis is on relationship, fruitfulness, and readiness to be rejected by the world. A believer's identification is in Jesus to the point of suffering and following Him to the cross. Only through strained semantics, labored logic and exploited exegesis can one even attempt to demonstrate that self-esteem is biblical or even a part of the church tradition or teaching.

The focus of love in the Bible is upward and outward instead of inward. Love is both an attitude and action to one another. And while love may include sentiment and emotional affection, it is primarily volitional action for the glory of God and the good of others. Thus when Jesus said, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength" (Mark 12:30), He was saying that all of our being is to be committed to loving and, therefore, pleasing God. Love for God is expressed with a thankful heart committed to doing what pleases God according to what has been revealed in the Bible. It is not a grudging kind of obedience, but an eagerness to conform to His gracious will and to agree with God that He is the source and standard for all that is right and good.

The Second commandment is an extension or expression of the First Commandment: "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12:31). John elaborates on this. He describes the sequence of love. In contrast to the teachers of self-love, who say that people cannot love God and others until they love themselves, John says that love originates with God and then extends to others:

We love Him because He first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from Him, that he who loveth God love his brother also (1 John 4:19-21).

God loved us first, which enables us to love Him, which then expresses itself in love for one another.

From Adam's first breath, mankind was designed to live in relationship with God, not as autonomous selves. The entire Bible rests on that relationship, for after Jesus answered the Pharisee by saying that the Greatest Commandment is to love God and the second is to love neighbor as oneself, He said: "On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:40). Jesus came to save us from self and to reestablish that love relationship for which we were created. Through the centuries books have been written about loving God and loving one another. However, today the church is increasingly inundated with books telling us how to love ourselves better, esteem ourselves more, accept ourselves no matter what, and build our own self-worth.

End Notes
1 California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility. "1987 Annual Report to the Governor and the Legislature," p. V.

2 Andrew M. Mecca, "Chairman's Report." Esteem, Vol. 2, No. 1, February 1988, p. 1.

3 Andrew M. Mecca, Neil J. Smelser, and John Vasconcellos, eds. The Social Importance of Self-Esteem. Berkeley: University of California Press, 1989.

4 David L. Kirk, "Lack of Self Esteem is Not the Root of All Ills." Santa Barbara News-Press, 15 January 1990.

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